11/17/2006

Teat Talk

My huge brane has been getting such a workout lately, and not a pleasant workout like you get with sweet sweet love. So Y am teating myself to an enjoyable topic.

About the bras-
What is the purpose of a bra? Does it enhance your comfort during your long day? Maybe you have large breasts and you think you need the support. What if wearing a bra filled with large breasts is what puts a strain on your back - like a heavy backpack worn backwards? Good thing we have been provided with bones and muscles suitable for supporting our breasts, huh? No expense, no pinched skin, and no delicate cycle are involved. Even if your breasts aren't so big, the increased circulation and air-flow you will enjoy may surprise you.

The nipple solution-
If you don't wear a bra (and sometimes if you do), it's likely that the shape of your nipples will be seen by others. We know that showing nipples in any situation that is not dedicated to appeasing testosterone is verbotten. When a mother can't go out of her home and legally feed her baby without sitting in a public toilet, you can see there is a nipple issue going on. But since we have been stared at, remarked upon, brushed up against, and drooled on so often, we already figured it out. Didn't we?
The solution is Womyn's Confidence. When you display Womyn's Confidence, most of your public problems will stay out of your way. On the rare occasion that you encounter someone who is threatened by your centered presence, and tries to start a cock fight - try this:
  • Reach behind your back and grab the hilt of your knife.
  • Raise it over your head in a flash, and arch it to your defensive position.
  • Say something frightening in a mean, loud voice. ("Y am a magycal wytch, and Y know how to use this"- just a suggestion.)
  • Your problem will no doubt flee at this point, if not sooner.
  • Scream real loud, and if you feel like it, chase your problem but try not to catch up. It's really important not to catch up. Believe me. Ha ha ha.
Workin' it-
Once, when Y was working for the catholics, the director ( a man ) had my immediate supervisor ( a woman ) take me out for lunch and casually inquire, "What if ( the director ) asks you about you not wearing a bra?"
Y told her Y would have to ask him if he was telling me to show him my underwear.
The beauty of it: Y implied that Y was wearing underwear and it suggests an action against him for sexual harrassment, should he persue the matter.

A happy ending-

Free breasts are content breasts. It may take some time to build up the flacid parts that using the bra has created, but any soreness will soon disappear. If your breasts or nipples get tender at times, wearing a tight cotton undershirt or even a cotton exercise-type tank will help. But don't get lazy again!
Here is some classic advice from a classy broad - Chesty Morgan - who sang these words of encouragement:
"Girls, Bounce Your Boobies"

Movie poster: Chesty Morgan in Deadly Weapons

2 Comments:

At 11/19/2006 9:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

About the same time I started wearing a "training" bra, I became aware of the fascination of males with breasts. In order not to be ogled I refused to wear anything form-fitting for quite a few years. I rejected a beautiful sky blue angora sweater my mom gave me for Christmas when I was 13 because I felt exposed by it's snugness. It wasn't too small, in fact it fit perfectly a la Annette Funicello, but I wasn't about to go to school like that . . . Not understanding because I was too embarrassed to admit the real reason, mom sadly returned it to the store.
I have always thought of my bras as a sort of armor against prying male eyes. I went braless for a few years in the '70's but I often wore my boyfriend's old corduroy jacket with my jeans -- not very revealing! Then began many years of office work and wearing tailored clothes which, with all their darts, are designed to fit over breasts supported by a structured undergarment. Sadly I was pinched and poked by hooks and wires for years until recently when I began working mostly from home. I sit happily braless in front of my computer until it's time to go out in public. I still think of my bra as armor though, and imagine myself suiting up like an amazon to face the world.

 
At 11/19/2006 11:08 AM, Blogger Lesbesquet said...

Oh, Y can just see that beautiful sweater...this is one (seemingly trivial, but NOT) example of the many painful sacrafices we make to try to stay safe in a dangerous world.

When Y was in junior high, Y began wearing a mohair sweater every single day over a blouse and a bra. Weather was no object. Since you mention it, this must have been my unconcious Amazon armor. Continued this compulsion until entering my all-girls high school, where a blazer took its place.

Hope your current armor is comfy. Did a search for "cotton bra" and there were a lot of results. One company is called 'Decent Exposures' (.com) and Y know they have been around for many years. It looks like you have to be an engineer to complete an order, but Y am sure the womyn there would help anyone who contacted them. Their bras are pretty expensive, but they are custom made and you can tell they are for the pleasure of women, not men.

 

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